Another Update

I know. I know. I lied again.

I promised to stay on top of this blog and once again I let it fall by the waist side. In my defense, this time it isn’t due to sheer neglectfulness as my most valuable time has been lent to staying busy with my writing. I have feverish been writing since the end of August, and every time I turn around I have some kind of deadline due or deadline missed or deadline I can just barely meet (but I try really hard to anyway).

As I have mentioned sparingly throughout my various postings (via Twitter and Facebook), my primary focus is on securing a publisher or agent for me newest novel under my name. While I should always be proud of most of my writing I put out there in the free world, I must say that I am truly proud of this book. Maybe it was because I had to write it twice (the bulk of it at least, once by hand and then by type), affording me the opportunity to really connect with the work.

Now, I will admit on the other end of the spectrum that it isn’t my best writing ever. This isn’t to say that I didn’t do my best, or put my all into it. I did. I absolutely did. I know to most that might sound contradictory, but let me explain further. I sort of held back on purpose because although I wrote the book in past tense, I also wrote it from a first-person viewpoint. Nothing unique, right? In this case, however, I tried desperately to keep the voice of the character more reflective of that time period of nearly thirteen years ago than oppose of today. That is, instead of coming off condescending to my character (o in my case a partial reflection of my former self) with lessons learned from the experience, I worked diligently to the best of my known abilities to keep those emotions fresh in the moment of the writing—even though I wrote it in past tense.

The best example that I can give is that your mindset as a teenager is totally different from that of an adult (or at least it should be). So, for me, I didn’t think it was my place to inject my adult articulation or analysis to a teenager that was unable to articulate or process his feelings at the time BUT could show and tell what he was going through, or the circumstance around him. He couldn’t say what he felt because he wasn’t sure what he felt, other than it was different and that he wasn’t sure if he liked it, or rather came to place where he was left with more questions than answers. So on and so forth. I will say that as a writer, I did grow tremendously from the newest writing experience. Not necessarily because it is sort of a reflection of self as it is that I had to fight myself from what I know now and what I didn’t know then without letting the potential reading audience in on the secret. The biggest hope that I could ask for them is to at least empathize why the protagonist [main character] made the choices he did, even if there is a lack of accord.

This was a major step for me because even with my experience as a writer, I don’t’ think I could have done it a few years ago let alone over a year ago. This had to do more with my ego than for the good of any of my projects. Because I am young and black and don’t hold a hoity-toity MFA degree in writing (which is something I probably will explain in a later blog), I felt that I somehow needed to compensate for my “shortcomings” instead of embracing them. And as I coming to find out that the very things that I thought were shortcoming are actually working more to my benefit than against them.

This is kind of sort of the reason and the predicament that I got up writing this blog today.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed that my writing career has been steadily moving forward at a pace I can appreciate. I would like to believe that the execution of my writing skills have gotten better along with learning from a ton of valuable mistakes, published and unpublished. (P.S. Don’t hold this blog as the beacon of light to my writings as I am always writing this blog from the top of my head. So there are no revisions or corrections, etc., etc.) And while it has brought some growing recognition to my work—more for my pseudonyms than in my own right—it hasn’t exactly brought the payday that I wanted. Not yet, at least. Being a writer for so many years, I never thought it would. I mean, I won’t lie, I know it can to some degree (which is a small betrayal to why we do it at all), but it isn’t the motivating factor. It shouldn’t be at least. If it is, then it is definitely the wrong business to be in—at least for most of us starting out or in the middle or even as a lifelong career.

Just the same, most recently, I began to get a small thrill from editors and publishers alike anxiously anticipating when they will receive my next submission. Something that I have gladly attempted obliged fully over the past few months and ahead of schedule. The funny thing is that I thought it would be pressured to come up with a full-out feasible story (I never really suffered from writer’s block like most writers as I have always had a struggle to sticking to one grand idea at the time.) Unfortunately, as I find new ways to become more efficient, there still prove not to be enough hours in a day to do everything. So I strive harder the next day to the same. I’ve gotten to the place where I am almost satisfied that I can say that I did everything I could do in that day.

I guess as I creep up on 30 in the next couple of years, I am desperately itching to make that mark. Not just to be published anymore, but to be recognized. When I say that I don’t want anybody to think that I want my ego stroked (never been that confident in my skills) so much as saying that my writing had some kind of positive or simply thoughtful influence.

Money isn’t a factor as much as it is needed! (lol)

To some extent, I see that some of my works are doing that, or rather my goal is oriented towards that.

Next to my obligated deadlines to various publications over the course of the next few weeks, my self-imposed schedule is shaping up to write at least 3 short stories by the end of June (to submit to a handful of magazines) along with two novels under a pseudonym within that same time frame. The thing that I’m most excite about now, other than trying to get this book out there for publication (and possibly representation) and the possible succession that is due to come in the next few years, is tickling my speculative fiction side, in regards to submitting to various online magazines, entering the Writer’s of The Future Contest later on this year, and hopefully do a book in that realm by the end of the summer.

For those that are curious about the term speculative fiction, it is more of an incorporation of science fiction and fantasy. It can be a general term for both or a subcategory or a “father” category of both and more, depending on whom you talk to. I always had a thing for speculative fiction, though it wasn’t until the last couple of years I was actually able to articulate as such because I never felt that my writing in that particular field went into sci-fi or fantasy per se.

Paraphrasing Orson Scott Card, “Science fiction is what could be but isn’t. Fantasy is what could never be,” is something I have struggled with for years, because at the time I hadn’t come across books that dealt with alternative worlds or alternative history, in which many of my writing can be classified into. But even in saying that, I have yet to come across any books or short stories that tackle it the way I do. That is, without the hocus-pocus of magic or the chivalry of medieval times or other typical frames of references. I should say, a far off cousin of a typical frame.

Just the same, I am excited about process as I continue to fight the effects and infections of allergies that have also brought my wisdom teeth under attack as I continue to hunt for an affordable option to have them removed in the near future.

That is pretty much the wrap up on the writing front.

As people have been following me, they know that my favorite personal quote (created by yours truly) is that “I am too multi-faceted for this one dimensional world.”

So as you may know while my fiction reading has been falling off tremendously, I have been up on my non-fiction reading and studying (the studying part being more so for my fiction writing, particularly in the speculative fiction arena than anything else followed by inventions and lastly entrepreneurial endeavors while the other non-fiction reading dealing with personal finance, wealth building, etc).

While that may seem a lot, it is, it isn’t like I try to do everything at once or even on the same day as I try diligently to construct a schedule that allow me to indulge in at least one aspect each week while I continue to find “traditional” employment like the rest of unemployed and underemployed (which is more or less my category) America.

I would love to spend some more time talking about the non-writing stuff, as it too is just as equally interesting (to some), but if I want to accomplish my goals then I need put an end to this entry and get started and try to get some things done.

Meanwhile, I’m glad that I plugged in an entry even if it may come out a hot mess. But, nevertheless, I’m glad. And while I won’t lie and say that I’ll post real soon, I will say that once I have more control of my organization skills (because I don’t want to slow down now that I’m starting to get on a roll) I will do a better diligence of sharing more of my ideas than my happenings (though my goal is a hybrid of both) in the future.

I guess that’s it.

Life is short. Strive for you dreams.

J